On the way to work today I had a close encounter of the stupid kind, something that always seems to happen when it rains. Today's was really interesting though: I got behind someone who was so short she couldn't see over her steering wheel. Yet, someone at the Division of Motor Vehicles gave this woman a driver’s license.

Because she was obviously straining to reach the gas pedal while at the same time craning her neck to try to see where she was going you may have guess that she was driving very erratically, weaving and doing the "car jerk" (where you hit the gas, take your foot off, hit the gas, take your foot off … you get the picture, I’m sure.)

Unfortunately, I was behind her on a one-lane road that was normally a short cut between two major roads; today there was nothing short about it.

After following this woman for what felt like 14 years, I finally saw my opportunity to roar around her (my truck does not merely accelerate, it ROARS, which is really satisfying) and blew past her just in time to miss the traffic light. Believe it or not, this woman got into the left hand left turn lane, behind me. I looked in my mirror just to see if she was trying to gesture obscenely at me, or something. If she was, she was too stunted for me to see it. Meanwhile, about 10 cars pulled up behind her, in the same turn lane. I felt very sorry for them because there was no way they were getting through the light, because it was a quick light on the best of days, and there was nothing quick about the woman behind me.

The light finally changed and I was able to pull out into the intersection. I glanced behind me and noticed the woman hadn’t even moved. I heard a chorus of blaring horns behind me and I giggled, completely understanding and sympathizing with the frustration of the drivers behind her. I saw the light change, and at this point the stunted woman pulls out, almost getting plowed under by the traffic that now had the right of way. She stayed in the left lane, and all around her were cars that were abandoning the “fast” lane for the chance to pass her on the right. Her car wobbled on down the road, accompanied by horns and roaring engines, looking like she wasn’t even moving, unless it was in reverse.