I have an update to my previous post:

At around 11am, the day of Peekay's party, I couldn't take it anymore; I had to tell someone about my adventures the night before; I decided sister dearest was the one I should tell my story to (the censored version, of course).

She laughed and said "You're a maniac."

We then exchanged a few references about the Friends episode where Rachel was "walking around in her apartment. Naked" which, while funny, wasn't enough to actually give me release for the guffaws, so I decided, perhaps I would mention it to bawdy Cousin Loretta who (although a counterpart of an age with Mumsie) is not my mother, and who could be counted on to laugh uproariously.

I was not disappointed. She laughed so hard that her wine glass sloshed its contents on my feet. :D

However, that was not all.

Cousin Loretta, (of an age with my mother) proceeded to share a few intimate details of her encounters with her husband, involving wine, bubbles and their jacuzzi tub.

It seems that they have an active (and creative) sex life, but they are even more stringent about their clean fun than me:

Loretta likes to begin things in the jacuzzi tub, then take a short break while she cleans the shower, hoses off the bubbles and does a quickie cleaning of the entire surface, before adjourning to the bedroom to continue the regularly scheduled program that had been temporarily pre-empted.

On one night in particular, Loretta's husband decided to be a gentleman and help with the bubble hosing (perhaps hoping to do a little more gratuitous rubbing of a bubble-covered surface that was a little warmer and softer than the tiled wall) when, much to his (and Loretta's) dismay, he too, learned the laws of gravity when he did a cartwheel out of the bathtub.

The evening's entertainment had to be put on hold after this because he required aid to rise to his feet and felt, under the cirumstances, that nothing else was going to rise that night...

I was hysterical, face bright red from muffled shrieks of laughter.

She continued on from there with unfortunate story #2:

On a romantic cruise with her husband, (and after a romantic interlude with said husband) cousin Loretta left the cabin to go up on deck and her husband turned on the shower to let the water heat up before getting in.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Loretta realized she had left her sunblock, as well as her room key, in the room. She pounded on the door, hoping to catch her husband before he got into the shower. Unfortunately, she did not; he had already entered the shower. However, he heard the pounding, figured it was her and leaned out to yell to her, when suddenly he found himself, once again, testing the laws of gravity as he surfed out of the shower face first.

I didn't get to hear the rest of the story because at this point we were both overcome (could it have been the punch? That rosy pink concoction can be deadly) and others came into the room, drawn by the sounds of our hilarity. Of course, neither of us was willing to tell what we were laughing about, so we separated (sometimes there is no safety in numbers, especially when a glance at someone will make you spit out your wine and bubbles go up your nose as you snort in a laugh) until the party was over.

Before the end of the night (after several glasses of wine and punch), I told Peekay why I was laughing (she asked me several times and since she was Princess for the day, what she asked for she was supposed to get. In this case, she got a little more than she bargained for.)

I'm sure her bridal shower will be very memorable. I know I will always remember it. I spent most of the day standing because my hiney was too sore to sit. :D