Them Thar're Buzzards!

Today I saw buzzards ... honest to god ugly ass buzzards.

No, they weren’t circling over me as I lay dying ... they were hovering over the unfortunate squirrel flattened on the road.

"Sharondarella, where in the world did you encounter BUZZARDS?"

I am so glad you asked! I was in Woodbridge doing work related gas guzzling in my SUV when I turned a corner in a residential area and saw these enormous black shapes.

I stared and stared, and finally had to remove my sunglasses because I could not make myself comprehend just what I was looking at. They were the size of my dog, black as pitch, with long legs, hunchy shoulders and WINGS! And let’s not forget the frightening red, wrinkly faces. I know now where the makeup artists got their inspiration for Freddie on Nightmare on Elm Street.

When I got too close, one of the ugly beasts picked up the squirrel and attempted to carry it in his craw as he gallumphed across the street. Unfortunately he dropped his squirrel, but he kept going to get out of the way of my oncoming vehicle. I slowed down because I sure as hell didn’t want to hit THAT, but I was still moving, so it was good that he’d moved. I slowed even further to watch the ungainly birds hop around on their knarly feet, rolling their beady eyes at me and shrugging their shoulders.

I watched them in my rear view mirror because I didn’t want them following and because I was still in shock ... I thought buzzards only appeared in Westerns, not slightly to the South of Northern Virginia ... This was an experience I don't need to repeat anytime soon!

Dog Days & Landlords

It's amazing how many people discriminate against dogs.

I've been looking for a place to live because I'm soon to be out on the street, once the parentals sell off the old family homestead. :)

The wannabe landlords I have encountered thus far have run the gamut in their reactions to the news that I come with furry sidekick:

"Is it housebroken?"
"Does it shed?"
"You will have to chain him up outside..."

Only one potential landlord asked my dog's name (His name is CODY, not "it" thank you!) but unfortunately, his house resembled a frat house and smelled like old socks and damp basement. Sorry, but I'm too old to live like this anymore, so even though you asked ever so nicely about my dog, I'm afraid I'll have to pass. ;D

I finally found a nice place to live. I haven't met the roommates, though, only the landlord. Which brings me to another strange happening.

Absentee landlords who are renting out every little square foot of space in the dwellings they own. This is a throwback to the days of boarding houses ... as were found during the Depression and during WWII. What's the deal with that? I'm finding it more than a little strange, but maybe this is entirely normal and I've just been leading a sheltered life, being lucky enough to live in the parentals house for FREE! HEH-HEH-HEH! I know. I deserve a little bit of difficulty, after my free ride right?

Life in the Fast Lane ...

Remember me talking about Life being this great adventure and that I have some strange adventures pretty regularly?

Well, I had another encounter with a weirdo today.

I pulled into my usual parking space today at work (I park on the street, rather than in the parking lot of my building because most people who park in the lot think nothing of crashing their door into your car and I don't like that) and when I tried to get out of my car, I noticed a car had pulled up next to me, blocking me from exiting. The male driver had his window rolled down and was gesturing for me to roll my window down, so I did, thinking "this guy is lost and needs directions."

As soon as my window was partially down this guy starts shaking his finger at me (like a 90 year old lady)and shouting "You are going to get a ticket! This is the THIRD TIME you have passed me! I know you were doing 50 in a 25! I'm going to call the police on you!" I looked at him in complete disbelief and then started to laugh.

It was 8:30am and way too early for this type of lunacy.

My laughter enraged him further and he began to stutter further threats but I cut him off before he could get a coherent word out:

"Did it make you feel better to say that? Good! Then think how great you'll feel when you see me pulled over some day with a police officer writing me that ticket you promised me. I'm sorry that you are such a slow driver that I pass you every day. Maybe you need a better car? Have a good day!" I rolled my fingers at him in a fluttery wave and closed my window while he was still sputtering and I'm sure turning red (he was black, so it's harder to tell when anger makes the blood rush to the face ...) and gathered up my stuff, preparing to exit my car.

I looked over and he was still there. I made shooing motions at him and a car behind him started to honk, so he reluctantly left, still making gestures (rude ones, I'm sure) and glaring at me in the side mirror. I laughed and went on my merry way to work.

When I went out at lunch time I checked my truck for key scratches or dents, but nothing new was there. Maybe he figured he'd come back on a different day to vent his rage on my truck, thereby being less obvious. Somehow, I don't think this is over. He's going to be watching for me, and I don't even know what he was driving, other than it was small and grey.

I don't have to do anything, yet I can piss off the general population. I mean, this guy went out of his way (obviously, because the street he followed me on dead ends at a major road that you can't cross because of the heavy traffic. He was so wrapped up in his rage that he screwed himself) to follow me so he could yell at me because I passed him three different times. Evidently I need to start leaving for work a bit earlier so I don't have to pass him again tomorrow and give him a fatal embolism.

Heh-heh-heh!

The Wrath of Grapes

Did you know that Grapes & Raisins are toxic to dogs? I just found out today from someone who had a dog that died from a grape overdose. Sounds funny, but it's not. Unbelievably scary, actually, because EVERYONE gives their dog grapes or raisins, it's a common treat used for rewards. When I first heard this, I thought perhaps it was an urban legend (it was on Snopes.com) but then when I found it on the ASPCA website, I knew there was some validity. Very scary stuff.

DON'T FEED YOUR DOGS GRAPES!
:(

The Many Faces of Mackerel

I had sushi for lunch today at my favorite sushi buffet … and for the very first time I felt disappointed.

I think we shall call today’s lunch "The Many Faces of Mackerel."

In case I haven’t mentioned it before, mackerel is on my list of banned sushi … it tastes like bait and it smells fishy (and by that I mean like the fishing boats that come in from the Gulf Stream down in Outer Banks. That repulsive smell that the fishermen are busy trying to wash off their boats, but too late because it has already permeated every surface.)

Good sushi has a fresh, clean non-fishy taste/smell.
Mackerel never has that taste/smell, hence, not good sushi. Actually, that’s the rule for buying fresh fish, too, so I guess maybe the lesson here is that mackerel is just not good fish for human consumption.

Unfortunately, it was all over the sushi buffet today: I was offered mackerel on nigiri sushi (with scallions on top, like they could disguise the fact this was mackerel? HA!) mackerel in a fancy roll with hot red sauce on top and also some sort of tempura batter fried mackerel roll.

I think there was a sale on mackerel at the sushi store.