Life in the Fast Lane ...

Remember me talking about Life being this great adventure and that I have some strange adventures pretty regularly?

Well, I had another encounter with a weirdo today.

I pulled into my usual parking space today at work (I park on the street, rather than in the parking lot of my building because most people who park in the lot think nothing of crashing their door into your car and I don't like that) and when I tried to get out of my car, I noticed a car had pulled up next to me, blocking me from exiting. The male driver had his window rolled down and was gesturing for me to roll my window down, so I did, thinking "this guy is lost and needs directions."

As soon as my window was partially down this guy starts shaking his finger at me (like a 90 year old lady)and shouting "You are going to get a ticket! This is the THIRD TIME you have passed me! I know you were doing 50 in a 25! I'm going to call the police on you!" I looked at him in complete disbelief and then started to laugh.

It was 8:30am and way too early for this type of lunacy.

My laughter enraged him further and he began to stutter further threats but I cut him off before he could get a coherent word out:

"Did it make you feel better to say that? Good! Then think how great you'll feel when you see me pulled over some day with a police officer writing me that ticket you promised me. I'm sorry that you are such a slow driver that I pass you every day. Maybe you need a better car? Have a good day!" I rolled my fingers at him in a fluttery wave and closed my window while he was still sputtering and I'm sure turning red (he was black, so it's harder to tell when anger makes the blood rush to the face ...) and gathered up my stuff, preparing to exit my car.

I looked over and he was still there. I made shooing motions at him and a car behind him started to honk, so he reluctantly left, still making gestures (rude ones, I'm sure) and glaring at me in the side mirror. I laughed and went on my merry way to work.

When I went out at lunch time I checked my truck for key scratches or dents, but nothing new was there. Maybe he figured he'd come back on a different day to vent his rage on my truck, thereby being less obvious. Somehow, I don't think this is over. He's going to be watching for me, and I don't even know what he was driving, other than it was small and grey.

I don't have to do anything, yet I can piss off the general population. I mean, this guy went out of his way (obviously, because the street he followed me on dead ends at a major road that you can't cross because of the heavy traffic. He was so wrapped up in his rage that he screwed himself) to follow me so he could yell at me because I passed him three different times. Evidently I need to start leaving for work a bit earlier so I don't have to pass him again tomorrow and give him a fatal embolism.

Heh-heh-heh!